7 janv - She Woman

Too little too late... vis avec les conséquences...
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Assez de temps a passé pour remettre le texte original.
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When I think about it... She really was the one I was searching, I think. Beautiful long hair, most beautiful eyes, and she was shinning like the sun. And not only was she pretty but she was this fragile kind of girl, never pretending to know more than anyone. Humble. And sweet, too. Like a kid who wouldn't bother to admit she didn't knew something. She was my sun.



And when you say she did something wrong to someone you knew, surprisingly, I don't give a damn. If she meant something bad to you or your friends, what do I care? ...Well, if she said anything about you... I dunno... When people talk shit in your back, I always try to cover your back... But it's seriously getting on my nerves, nowadays. You’re a good girl, but the way YOU talk shit about everyone else, at every moment, it just pisses me off. And yet you say you still love me...

Do you remember the first time we broke up? Do you remember some detail?
The first time. It was you who started it. "I feel like it's a habit to be with you." I cried that whole night. That week, we weren't suppose to talk to each other. But you broke the seal and talked to me. Until that day, I was getting used of not being with you anymore, so I became uncaring, sort of. I was not "in love" anymore. Disillusioned again. A friend who wouldn't bother to catch every glimpse of your glare anymore. And you said that was the thing that made you fall for me, in the beginning. So apparently, we came back again. But then I was changed... You called the break, but inside, it was me who told you "This is over."

Do you remember the second time? Any detail in particular?
I don't recall the break up thing, but I do remember when I came back to you, just before that concert. I almost told you: "I made a mistake by breaking up", but never said it. Why? Because it wasn't. That, I remember telling you. "I can't say it was a mistake because it wasn't". I felt angry and lonely, and that's why I broke up the second time. Rejected, almost. If there was a mistake, it was to come back with you. To finish something, or whatever, I don't know... At that time, I should've known things weren't like back then, that I changed, that you changed... Or maybe we were just the same but some things we knew out of each other, and that this knowledge was slowly killing us.

Do you remember the third time? The real last one? The one where you were just crying while I had to watch you? That time when touching you was the worst insult I could do to you? And when I just looked my watch and said: "So? Are we doing this, or what? Come on, already. Let's break before class, I don't wanna be late."
Don't cover your eyes; this story was long gone. Don't pretend like you loved me anymore at that time. If you did, you would have let me touch you. Just grab your hand, a pat on the shoulder... Touching someone while not dating another person, THAT, I'm okay with. But not even be able to touch the person you're already with... That's something I'll never understand. So why pretending it hurt you when I was cold as hell while giving you the bye finger? You were just as cold as me! It - was - over - already. And you knew it.

And so, I became that regular guy again. Beyond disillusion is regularity. Yes I admit jealousy caught me when I knew you were dating the biggest dumbnut in the neighborhood. Because, down there, I still could tell you deserved better. Or maybe was it just that I couldn't stand the fact that some fat fish like you could date someone good looking. When you say the word "slut", believe me, it's the last word I'll think about you. At least to me, sluts are decent good-looking women, unlike you. But beyond the looks, you're a possibly good person. And that is what's killing me. I would've loved to see you with that other fat pig who's a big loving guy too. Big heart and sensitivity.

Did I have to date you again to dump you a fourth time? Of course not! I could've mourn on my lack of love-life, or whatever it is. And don't call it lack of sex, for Christ's sake. To your world, it makes sense, but not in mine. If only I've known how it would end, that time...
For God's love! Even I thought the third break up was clear enough! Apparently not... It was only then, that I felt not attracted anymore.

Do you realize? Only then, physic became something that played against you, in my head.

And only now do I realize... She.
She was the good looking, not so smart but innocent girl I was searching all along. Whatever she may represents to you, she was the One. For me. The one that could learn from me, and not bitch all day and tell she's got the golden truth.
What happened? It's simple: I gave up on her. I've reached that thing I've lost while dating you two useless times: disillusion. I've lost the love. And it's gone forever. "Too little too late, sunny boy; yeah you realized too late she was the one. Now, you gotta live with the fact that you don't love her anymore, that she means almost nothing to you since you broke the seal in your head."


So please. Stop saying stupid things like " Fuck, why do I still love you?" Just open your eyes and think about the fact that we are completely unmatchable, understand? Yes there are some good memories. But seriously... shove it up your ass, and try to think twice before saying shits like that. Remember: it - wasn't - a - mistake - to - break - up. We were never alike, and we never will. And I can't deal with being with someone as insubordinate as you are.

So please. Fuck off.
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7 jan. 2011, 19h35